PuTeRy NoRa --> JoiN Me in My world of FaNtAsY

Sunday, March 26, 2006

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I'm shifting, sob sob.

'all because of sum1'

Today I found out that sum1 'unwelcome' has been snooping my blog discreetly. Although I knew I made a big mistake by not realizing that the window is left opened, I really didn't do it intentionally. Due to these reasons, I will be re-shifting my blog and will only inform those who were in my list previously. Sorry for the inconvenience.

Should I have offended anybody, or in general, wif all due respect, i sincerely apologise.

PU3 Nora was feeling lonely at 6:42 PM

r u n n i n g a w a y

Friday, March 24, 2006

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IN MEMORY OF MY BELOVED DAD
22ND MAR 2003
AL-FATEHAH

When the date reached 22nd Mar every year, the thought of my beloved dad came to my mind. My father was one of the most important people in my entire life. There was no one like him so I wanted to dedicate a memorial to him on this particular entry. For those who have experienced loss, there isn't much you can do except remember the good times and carry that person's spirit in your heart. I've been doing that since the day I lost my beloved father. I hope all the net people can appreciate me doing this. I'm mainly putting this here for people who have lost a loved one, and also so I can remind myself of the goodness in this man. I hope that I can help reflect some feelings that you may have as well about someone who you held close to your heart. Dad meant the world to my mother and I. So, this one's for you Dad.

I've often found that sharing in the pain can sometimes be as healing as getting an ease to any sorrows .I was on my way home from werk and the uncertainty of going elsewhere alone, when I was told my father passed away and I swear I felt my sanity slip away. The world just turn blank on me, and without any sense of humanity, I stole a cab from an innocent soul and take all means to be there. However, I didn't make it on time, and its only abt 10 mins when I found out I was late. I have never expect losing my dad in this way, and it felt like the world lost all sense of time and seemed so unkind . The only thing I regretted is not having me beside him when he took his last breath, to beg for his forgiveness, to be there to caress him and say 'everything will be aright'. Everytime I think of this, there will be a pinning pain right thru my heart that wouldn't stop. I miss him so terribly and I keep praying that the least that I could wish for now is to have him in my dreams, to hug him, kiss him, and beg for his forgivessness. Ya, allah, aku bershukur sedikit mimpi yg kau kabulkan kepada ku adalah nikmat. And so HE did. Thereafter, I had a fever for a week, probably bcoz the bitterness is unbearable and that Im still being defeated by the deep emotional state. No one or nothing can make me feel better at that moment except prayers within me and my dad.

My first part of the healing process when my dad passed away and to TRY and pretend that I could somehow get through things without him around. I HAD to get in touch with enough emotions to be able to put my father behind, yet NEVER forget him. It's really an impossible thing to do when you love someone so much that you just can't live without them. That is when it comes down to what I believe. You can't fight fate. What is done cannot be undone. You can't change it, and there is nothing you can do to reconcile it except to find some peace within yourself. Ive always believe that he had to go becoz god luvs him very much, and HE wants to put a stop to his sufferings, so much that only a true man could embrace life with full of grace despite the pain and sufferings that he went through. He is the true man that had taught me that the strength is within us.

For only I knew, he is one true man that I called 'ayah'.

PU3 Nora was feeling lonely at 10:27 PM

r u n n i n g a w a y

Wednesday, March 22, 2006

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What is wrong wif this people?

Today, I see that my perspective is not akin to some. At this point, I am at the peak where I see disgrace on the lack of understanding by some people and their disrespectful reactions on others' personal views. No matter how things can be potentially dangerous, I want to talk about life, human behavior, love, death, fate, being true to one's self and the balanced state of giving. I carry time to discover, look up and look down, sing, weep, say what is on my mind and to pray.

I offer my mind and heart to people, secrets and freedom.

Nothing to gain out of this entry except to express my feelings.

PU3 Nora was feeling lonely at 6:38 PM

r u n n i n g a w a y

Saturday, February 18, 2006

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While others are beaming with entusiasts for the wkend, i somewhat didnt look forward to it, simply b'coz im not in the mood. It has been a bad week.

Few things tht im dissapointed over the wk. I have been sick, although i tried forcing myself not to, my body havent been reacted well, so i took a day mc instead of 2 days tht doc has given me. Im not trying to be saint abt it, but being understanding abt my absence is wat i could at least expected from normal beings. But no and I dun wish to elaborate more, only tht when sum ppl tried to play devil behind my back, now tht's sick. Pardon me for being rude to sum ppl , but i haf my boundaries to protect at tht time. I've fallen into despair. Well, Life is bittersweet. Perhaps one day, human are more scarrier than ghosts do.

Sumtimes, i juz wish a future can be predicted out of a fortune cookie. I wanted to crack one open and pull out exactly the right answer, the one small piece of wisdom that would put everything into perspective. I wanted to find the little slip of paper that would tell me, "Everything is going to work out for the best." "You are safe." "You will do the right thing."Kinda silly to expect so much from a cookie, huh?

Ive been swarmped by work out of sudden, which is a gd thing to kill time and to put ur mind off for a while.

PU3 Nora was feeling lonely at 1:57 AM

r u n n i n g a w a y

Tuesday, February 14, 2006

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A year filled with love

Oh wow, i smell gd news! A year that fill with loads of happiness from frens.

My best fren , siti, is getting engaged to sum1 she's being sceptical abt long ago. When i 1st met her and him, i thot, 'he'll be the 1 for her'. But sumtimes, sum bad past hold us back and let it shadowed our lives. Observing at such situations is the perfect scenario to avoid. And its time to say gdbye to the nasty past and start to move on..i know its easier said and done..but keep telling urself, 'it could be worst'.

And so, to siti, u've gone thru a lot and ur patience pays. We are extremely happy and my prayers will be within u n him. Im happily shocked yet happy and excited. I know u kind of 'merajuk' wif us tht i havent been spending time wif ya'all, but i hope u understand.

Anyway, pls let him no, tht he's the luckiest man on earth to be able to capture a gerl wif a heart of gold...and by looking at u, mariam...i no u'll be the perfect wife to die for..wink, wink..U'll always be a darlz to me...Insyallah, i'll be the THERE! Couldn't miss it!

And then, there were '2'.....

PU3 Nora was feeling lonely at 4:39 PM

r u n n i n g a w a y

Wednesday, February 01, 2006

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A Special Moment to Share

Big day for my cuzzie! I can't believe that he's finally getting married and tht shows us tht time do travel fast. It's a memorable day….relatives, family get together and helping one another to make this special day possible. Alhamdullilah, terkabul dan selamat menjadi pasangan suami isteri, congrats to Abg Zul n Kak Siti..nice couple…definitely, a special moment to share. Couldn't be more happier for them. An auspicious date to get married, coz its CNY (long holiday) and it coincides wif the same day as Kak Siti's birthday…double the celebration! Nxt yr, can celebrate both anniversary and birthday together (double) hehe. And so, I didn't take the role of taking photos, so I've hand it to my ‘so so-called’ photographer wannabe sis to do tht important task ;) U can have a peep at her blog for pics.

Another of my gd fren is also getting married in few mths, and if ur reading this, I couldn't express how happy I am to hear the piece of gd news. Any man would be lucky to spent the rest of his life with you, honestly and every lady would dream to be in ur place. Like I've said, I’ll pray for your happiness, and insyallah, I'll help u accomplished ur dream day…coz I no u'll definitely make one gorgeous bride and make a gd future wife, im certain…insyallah..

But ppl, plssssssssss…dun keep asking me when would be my turn…jodoh bukan terletak di tangan saya…tapi kalau nak doakan saya, alhamdullilah…saya juga mengharap akan dapat dijodohkan dhn insane yg baik..mudah-mudahan…amin

PU3 Nora was feeling lonely at 10:30 PM

r u n n i n g a w a y

Thursday, January 26, 2006

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Yipee, another road hazard off the road..hehe..i mean, FINALLY I get to take off the P plate off my car. Yes, 17 jan was the date I got my licence last year. Im ecstatic and I’m also fortunate to have my baby froggie that enables me to apply my driving skills. Road bullies, here I come…muahaha...

PU3 Nora was feeling lonely at 6:45 PM

r u n n i n g a w a y